Network Leadership

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Generally in networking there are two types of people. The givers and the takers.

The takers are the kind that put many people off networking. You know when you meet a taker because they are not interested in anything you say or do, they are only interested in how you can benefit them.
Typically these fast talking salesmen don’t last long in networking, they find it really doesn’t work for them and dismiss the people who take time to build relationships as being unfocused.

The other type is the ‘giver’. The giver is oft talked about and lauded in networking literature and circles.
In fact anyone who has ever read anything on networking will be very familiar with the concepts of ‘give to get’ and ‘pay it forward’. The idea being that you need to go out there and look for how you can help other people before you focus on what your own particular needs are. ‘Build your well before you're thirsty’ or ‘build your bridge before you cross it’ are the common refrains of the seasoned networker.

Now, both of these have their drawbacks. As in nature the best partnerships are symbiotic with results that benefit both parties.

Takers, often due to their own insecurities, believe that you have to look after number one. To a certain extent they may actually discover some success by being so direct but the success is short lived because, without reciprocity of sorts, people soon tire of the demands of takers.

Givers, on the other hand, tend to give away a lot up front. Time, contacts, leads etc. Often, although they believe they are doing this magnanimously, there is a hidden expectation of return in there somewhere. If this return is not forthcoming then the giver can turn bitter at the experience and blame either the recipients or the process, in this case, networking.

There is a third way. A ‘leader’ will strive to increase their own value whilst also increasing the value of those around them. A leader makes intelligent, responsible decisions and their actions create positive emotions within the group.
Leaders can rise above the noise and through their strength of character guide things in the right direction. They understand the value they are providing and are not ashamed to call it for what it is. Comfortable with their own place in the world they also understand quickly the role they can have with those they meet. All actions become a reflection and a re-enforcement of that.

The desire to be around leaders is a timeless one. It makes sense for us to be around people who can add value to our lives. Leaders tend to be charismatic, comfortable to be around and inspire positive and pleasurable emotions in others. As people understand the value of being connected to leaders they deliver their own reciprocal value. Thus the leader, just by their ‘natural’ (it can be learnt) behaviour can attract value at levels that are surprising to many.

What type of networker are you? What type would you like to be in 2006?

With thanks to Vincent DiCarlo and his work on Interpersonal Relationships.

Callum Laing